I don’t know exactly how to begin. But before anything else I want to say that I’m deeply grateful for the amount of support you have given me for my previous post. It’s been rough—as expected since we’re all in the middle of a global pandemic. We currently are in the midst of the same ocean, but not in the same boat. Others may not even have a boat at all. I’m still grateful for all that I have right now: my home, parents, relatives, supportive friends, healthy food on the table, the books I’m privileged to read, and most importantly my health.
Earlier today while thinking about the subject I want to write about, I remembered that at the time I posted my previous blog post was almost the same time 2 years ago when I wrote my journey with depression. And it strikes me how the incidences leading up to these two occasions were so similar yet so different at the same time. 2 years ago, I wasn’t fully aware of the changes and difficulties I’m going through. Now that I seem to have a better grasp of my situation, why do I still feel hopeless at times? Did I not learn anything from the past years?
What might be the best answer: healing is not linear. Progress is not a straight path we all take hurrying to the finish line. Occasionally we encounter bumps on the road, we trip over the fences, and that’s completely fine. It’s all part of the journey, and that’s what makes us human.
Secondly, if I can’t seem to help myself alone, I need to seek help from others if I want to get better. It’s not a sign of weakness. Recently, asking for help is not viewed as a weakness anymore, and I couldn’t be happier about this eradication of stigma towards mental health. In fact growing number of individuals and groups have become more vocal and active in advocating for a better access to mental health support. Therefore people are becoming more aware and empathetic towards those who need help the most. Albeit it’s even harder now that financial constrictions stand in the way of getting proper medications and therapy, especially for those who don’t have insurance.
After the initial great shock brought by Covid-19, I believe we are now seeing a massive collapse in our economy. The numbers of people losing their jobs are on the rise each day (speaking so in the Philippines). Certain industries especially the live arts, events and entertainment took a hard blow. Unfortunately, I’m one of them. But not so unfortunate that I’ve lost any will to find alternatives in keeping myself afloat.
I wrote my previous post during one of my worst days. Reading it now sends shivers to my skin. It’s so melodramatic and cringe-worthy. I’m not mocking it just for the sake of making fun of my inadequacies, no. It’s only proof that whatever impediment is on my way, I can now move forward and shrug it off my shoulders without bitterness. Not completely negating my past experiences, but to become fully aware of what benefits my progress and what doesn’t.
Right now, I’m doing ironically better than ever in the past couple of weeks. I now have the energy to take part in my role as a decent human being living in this world, and I’m much at peace and happier as compared to the 2nd quarter of the year. I think a part of it is because of my constant yoga practice and meditation, as well as the philosophy and psychology books I’m reading. Lately, I’ve immersed myself in Stoicism and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I’ll write all about it on a separate post. For now, I’ll wrap this blog post up.
I think I already said what I intended to. And I hope you, whoever is reading this right now, I hope you are in a safe condition, wearing your mask, maintaining a safe distance from people and keeping yourself healthy by exercising and stuffing yourself with lots of healthy fruits to boost your immune system AND mental health. Thank you for reading and coming along on my journey.
Lots of love,